The Value of the "F" Word

As I’ve mentioned before, I have good relationships with my nieces and nephews. I just think they are all fabulous young people and I enjoy watching them reach the different milestones as they grow up. My nephew Dylan is now 14 years old and last week he began high school. Only a week in, but he loves it. This thrills me because, of course, there will be traumatic times ahead.

Earlier this year, he and a friend stayed at my home for a week and one of the most interesting conversations we had was about the “F” word. I explained to Dylan that since he is a teenager now, I knew that he and his friends were probably starting to curse, enjoying the freedom of talking like grown-ups, at least when the grown-ups aren’t in earshot. Realistically, he is absolutely going to do it, but I told him he needs to be respectful of other people and be conscious of those that might be offended. I mean, seriously, isn’t that what we all do? For everyone, there are people we can curse in front of, and those we cannot.

I told him the “F” word is especially fraught with extra rules. While it doesn’t carry quite the punch it used to, it is still a word that can be used to exactly express the intensity of a moment. Everyone needs a word that will emphasize the enormity of a situation at hand when no other word will do. But it’s very important not to overuse it, because doing so diminishes its power. For instance, we debated whether “damn” is really cursing and determined that relatively speaking, not really, if only because overuse has robbed it of is descriptive qualities.

My mom lives with my younger sister in the same house with Dylan. Jackie’s kids all call my mom Patty, which rather than being disrespectful, is endearing, because it evolved from the time when Dylan was a toddler and called her “MY Patty”. Recently, my mom asked Dylan to PLEASE clean up his room, as it was nearly impossible to see the floor. This request was met with resistance, and after several attempts at procrastination, she finally had to sternly tell him to do it "now!". About 15 minutes later, she heard him scream her name, and could immediately identify the note of true alarm in his voice. She ran to his room, nearly colliding with him in the hall as he was scrambling to get out. She asked him what was wrong, to which he replied, “Patty, there’s a F*%#-ING SNAKE in my room!!!!”.

He wasn’t punished for the cursing, because as he explained to me, “Lulu, clearly, it was the perfect time for the “F” word”. I love that kid.